We live in a free society. We are free to choose who we are and what we wish to do with our lives. We are given unlimited choices in every area of life – what to eat; when to eat; what to drink; how to travel; who to associate with, and so on.
Freedom is important, yet sometimes our language imprisons us from living a completely free life. When you use words like “should”, “shoulda” and “must” you are restricting your options for freedom. This mindset creates limiting ideas and can turn a simple task of love into an unwanted chore. When this happens we have a tendency to rebel or refuse to participate.
The result is we fail to keep our word or simply don’t show up for a commitment. We begin to feel overwhelmed and obligated and just want to close out the rest of the world and withdraw.
You may even go as far as not answering the phone or a text message just to grasp a bit of space and time for yourself.
There has to be another way, right?
The first step would be to only commit to doing things you really want to do. Remember, we are all at choice – all the time. No one is pressuring you to do everything they ask and demanding you commit (and if you do have a relationship of this nature you may want to make another choice). The idea that you are here to please everyone else is in your mind alone - - it may be a belief you have that says you must involve yourself. And that just isn’t the truth.
“Must” is one of those words that create the restrictive thinking we want to avoid.
When we agree to do something, or call someone, or go to an event - - then we simply get to do just that. When we take the time to evaluate our options and personal schedules we can say “yes” and mean it and we can choose to say “no” without further explanation and simply not to take part.
Once you have decided what you will and will not do, then life becomes a bit simpler. You don’t feel overcommitted and underappreciated. You have time for yourself, time to rest and rejuvenate. You now have more energy to play and join in on the activities that mean so much to you.
And you begin to keep your word again. And that act, in and of itself, is very freeing!
As we look at life and our choices we can truly live in the freedom in which we have been given. Each one of us can decide what we want to do and once we commit; do everything within our power to keep our word.
This freedom guarantees one develop a character of integrity and with integrity comes self respect. And when we can live with ourselves, respecting the very essence of our true self - - well, that is the most freeing act of all!
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